Lost love
by Starchild574
Summary: RikuXOC But no one would care if I did. Thats why I gave up. Slower shallow breaths. slow darkness. Everything fadeing away. Thats where your wrong, I do care, if you would just let me Star.
1. Chapter 1

**_AN: I'm Just writeing this becuse it came in to my head wich is useually vacant... and I have no ideas for my other one at the moment... I think this might be better than The Same As You... If you've read some of it give me your opinon.. Plz Read and Review..._**

Disclamer: I do not own kingdom hearts I only own star.. I do not own Riku... I did he would be tied up in my closet so he would never run away... HeeHee

What Star looks like: Blonde hair that gose an inch past her chin. Soft blue eyes that alwys look depressed even when she seems happy. Slim body figure. jean shorts and a black skin tight t-shirt.she wears regular shoes that you can run in... I guess. She has a burn scar on her leg.

Well onward to the story!

_It takes a minute to like someone, and hour to love someone, but to forget someone takes a life time. _

_Unknown Author_

_It is to hope, though hope were lost. _

_Aikin Barbauld_

_English poet & writer _

_**Lost Love **_

_**Chapter one:**_

_**Finding myself**_

Small, simple, safe price.  
Rise the wake and carry me with all of my regrets.  
This is not a small cut that scabs, and dries, and flakes, and heals.  
And I am not afraid to die;  
I am not afraid to bleed and fuck and fight,  
I want the pain of payment.  
What's left, but a section of pigmy sized cuts.  
Much like a slew of a thousand unwanted fucks.  
Would you be my little cut?  
Would you be my thousand fucks?  
And make mark leaving space for the guilt to be liquid.  
To fill and spill over and under my thoughts.  
My sad, sorry, selfish cry out to the cutter.  
I'm cutting trying to picture your black, broken heart.  
Love is not like anything.  
Especially a fucking knife!

Look at me.  
You can tell,  
By the way I move and do my hair  
Do you think that it's me,  
Or it's not me?  
I don't even care.  
I'm alive, I don't smell.  
I'm the cleanest I have ever been.

I feel big, I feel tall, I feel dry.  
Dry.  
Just look at me, look at me now.  
I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake.  
Just look at me, look at me now.  
I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake.

Do I drink?  
Do I date?  
I've got perfect placements.  
All my ink  
Satisfied, in your eyes.  
I'm the biggest fan I've got right now.  
I made sure I looked how I wanted to look.  
The people around me,  
The people surround me.

I feel big, I feel tall, I feel dry.  
Dry.  
Just look at me, look at me now.  
I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake.  
Just look at me, look at me now.  
I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake.

Just look at me now.  
I'm a fake, I'm a fake.  
Just look at me now.  
I'm a fake, I'm a fake.

My stomach hurts now,  
All tied off in lace.  
I pray, beg, for anything to hit me in the face.  
And this sickness isn't me.  
And I pray to fall from grace.  
The last thing I see is feeling.

And I'm telling you I'm a fake,  
I'm telling you I'm a fake.  
I'm telling you I'm a fake.  
I'm telling you I'm a fake.  
I'm telling you I'm...

Just look at me, look at me now.  
I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake.  
Just look at me, look at me now.  
I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake.

Just look at me now.  
I'm a fake, I'm a fake.  
Just look at me now.  
I'm a fake, I'm a fake.

Fake!  
Fake!  
Fake!  
Genuine fake..."

I'm A fake- The Used

Dreaming...

_

* * *

_

_Where am I?_

_Who am I?_

_Do I really exsist?_

_Do I have a point?_

_In Life?_

_Do I even Exsist?_

_Shallow breaths. The kind that you breath before you die. Flickering shadows, and yellow eyes. silent weaping. A small pool of blood. Even more shallow breaths. My own. A hooded face hidden by shadows and long strands of hair. Pain. Fear. "Don't die on me." The hooded boy choked._

_" But no one would care if I did. Thats why I gave up." Slower shallow breaths. slow darkness. Everything fadeing away._

_" Thats where your wrong, I do care, if you would just let me Star."_

Awake...

* * *

I woke up in a cold sweat. My eyes slowly shifted to my alarm clock. The neon green numbers read 3:30 AM.

" Another dream like that... What dose it mean?" I covered my eyes with my hand and sighed slowly.I slowly got up, the fresh scar on my arm stung. I walked to my bathroom and ran the cold water and spalshed it on my face. I stared at the girl that looked back at me. She had blonde hair sticking to her face. Dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep from the past few days. That lost girl was me. Star. The life I lived in hates me, or I hate it. " No one loves you, no one at all, You'll never find love" I wispered to the crying girl, crying back at me. " No one will save you." I choked. I sighed and wiped away the tears. I grabed a towel from the closet. and I took a cold shower becuse I knew I wasn't abel to be able to go back to sleep. I turned off the water and shivered. I wrapped the towel around me. and walked back into my room. I changed into my clothes. Jean shorts with a skin tight black t-shirt. . I grabbed some eyeliner and put it on. I silently slipped out of my room and out of the house. I had to get away. I slowly walked to the back of the house. And into the dark woods. A dangerous thing to do. But I never cared. I walked for about ten minets and found my faveoret random tree. I sighed and leaned aganst it.

"Why are you so hard on yourself?" An unkown voice came from the tree besides me. I quickly turned to the voice. A cloaked figure leaned aganst the tree.

" Who are you? What do you want." I said, to calm and blank for the situation. The man chuckeled.

" Star.. Heh, You don't have a care in the world what happens to you, don't you?" He walked in frount of me and grabed my wrist . " Why are you so hard on yourself?" his thumb ran up and down the scar that I had made just hours ago. I pulled my arm from his hand.

" It's none of your bisness." I started to walk away.

" Oh! But I think it is, more than you think!." He chuckled. I turned around.

" Who are you any way?" He laugfed and pulled down his hood. And reviealed a man with really spikey hair and blue lines under his eyes.

" My name is Axel, Committ it to memory" He grinned.

" who?"

" AXEL! A-X-E-L! Got it?"

" What do you want?"

" I need you to come with me"

" For what?"

" Becuse you can be usefull."

" Is that what I am? A tool?"

" Far from it"

" Whatever. I'm going home"

" Fine you'll come with me sooner or later." I just shrugged my sholders and walked off. I glanced down at my wrist watch. I had to get on the bus in 20 min.. _what a pain. First I'm seeing things and I'm gunna miss the bus. Dad's gunna have my ass for this..._ I started to sprint in the derection to my house and I ran to the frount door. I walked into my room and grabbed my school junk. And rushed out of my room and out the frount door. I just made it becuse the bus just stopped at the frount of my house. I rushed up to the door and the too cheerfull busdriver lady opened the door.

" 'Morning Star! How are you this moning?" She smiled.

" Just fine" I mumbled. _And I'm seeing things.._ I added to myself. I walked to my useual seat, the very last in the back. When the hour long bus ride ended the busdriver let everyone off. I sluggishly walked up to the school doors. I went to my messy locker. The gossipy girl that was next to mine was blabbering on about some guy to her dumb followers, the mother hen.

" Shut up will you? Your giving me a headace." I growled. She gave me a dirty look.

" Whatever freak." The mother hen slammed her locker, flicked her hair and walked off. Her short slutty mini skirt rideing up her ass. Her chicks loyaly followed. The jock next to me started to laugh with his friends.

" Hey, 'Freak' youv'e got some nerve sticking up to Monica like that."

" Whatever, Just becuse you might of screwed her, doesen't mean your cool." I grabbed my first peiroid binder.

"Ohhhh! You did not just say that!" The jock grabbed my wrist and slammed me against the lockers, Fist raised. I closed my eyes, prepared. " Take it back" He growled.

" What? Isn't it true?" He then punched me hard in the face, I already felt the blood gushing down my face as I fell to the ground.

" I DID NOT JUST SEE YOU PUNCH HER!" a shocked teacherly voice shouted. " Go to the nurse! I'll take care of him"

Later...

* * *

The pretty blonde nurse had me clean my face and put an ice pak over my whole face.

" Your lucky Your nose didn't break" She smiled " You can lie down on the cot for a while." I obayed and layed down on the one at the farthest back, in the dark corner. She went to her desk to do paper work. After about ten min. the overweight principle waddled in.

" So.. Star? What happed in your opinon." I sighed.

" I don't really care, I provoked him, It was my own fault, I guess I have a knack for getting hurt anywhere I go." He weezed and cougfed into a hankercheif.

" Well, You are exsused from classes today untill you feel like you can go back to class." I nodded and he waddled out of the nurse's office. Probably to eat the chcolate secret stash in his desk. I closed my burning eyes and dreamedt two.Life before my mother died was simple. No abuse from your father garented.. He convinced himself that it was all my fault she died.

Dream..

* * *

_" Hey Star? Sweetie come help me with dinner." My mother called. I was only fifteen. I did help my mother. And I did accidentily set the dish rag on the stove, that was on. the other burner wasn't on right and the gas was pouring out. The house Burst into flames. I was the only one that survived. My mother died. My fater was at work. To come home to a dead wife and useless daughter._

swithch the dream.

* * *

_" Is darkness appealing to you?" A dark heavy voice asked. I found myself in a dark void. I looked around at the void, at the notingness. The pain free sanctuary, death. I saw the cloaked boy in my dreams. He was lying on the ground. Something black was in his hand. I slowly walked over to him. a blindfold was loosely griped in his hand. Silver hair covering his face. "Is He the one your looking for? Or are you looking for something else?" The voice asked again._

_" Who are you?" Asked, too calm._

_" I am known as Diz, nothing more, now if I help you find what your looking for, will you help me?" _

_" I suppose." The boy shivered and slowly opened his eyes, Amber eyes, an unatural color. A color that was only the kind that you get from being influenced under something. He opened his mouth to say something but I woke up before He could say the first word_

Awake...

* * *

I woke up in pain, there was this weird pain in my chest. Like something was awakeaning inside me. The shadows flickered.

" FIRE!" someone shreiked. whaaa? Fire? I jumped up too quickly and I tripped. A gloved hand caught me. The smell of smoke reached my nostrills. I started to panic, I hated fire ever sence my mother died. I didn't notice the person who stedied me untill he spoke.

" What's wrong? Scared of fire?" He chuckeled. I reliezed that the man was Axel from eairlier.

" What are you doing here?" He spun a red, spiked circle weapon in his hand, another under his arm.

" Hmph" He chuckeled " I told you earlier" he spun the weapon playfully.

" Axel! Come on stop playing around get the girl and lets go." A irritated dirty blonde haired boy was suddenly at the door.He held up his free hand.

" I'm comeing Roxas I'm comeing, just give me a sec" He held his hand to me " now come on lets go without an unessisary struggle" I backed away.

"No, leave me alone." The shadows flickered again. the blonde boy sighed annoyed and two blades appeared in his hands." God dammit Axel your so slow you just nock the girl out and grab her." He raised one of his blades. but a dark portal opened behind me another gloved hand put their hand over my mouth and pulled me back into the portal.

"DAMMIT!" I heard Axel yell before he disappeared.

His protective imbrace was warm and safe. He smelled of a fruit I didn't know and the faintist hint of cool sea breeze. I was dissapointed when he let me go but didn't show it. I looked at his face. I was shocked, he was the nameless boy in my dreams. I couldn't stop looking at his face, he was beutiful, even with the blindfold. He cleared his throught and put a hand behind his head.

" Ummm... Diz sent me to rescue you from those guys from Orginazation 13, and to bring you to him. uhh I'm Riku" his voce matched his face perfectly, like a dark prince of the the night. Almost like a vampire. I was numb, not sure how to answer.

" I-I'm star." Riku had me follow him into a room with a huge computer

" Diz, I brought her"

" Thank you Riku, can you leave us alone for now?" Riku nodded and left the room." Now, you're welcome for the power I awakened for you. The help I ask of you is to help Riku and do anything I ask Thats all I need, help for my revenge." He looked away, lost in his thoughts. He looked at me again " You seem way to calm." I closed my eyes and opened them slowly

" You should know that I gave up long ago."

" Oh.. Thats right, how could I forget?" He smirked. " There are no other rooms in this manson so... You'll have to share one with Riku."

"WHAT!"

" Don't worry, there's seperate beads. Isn't he the one you've been dreaming of?" I looked away and blushed slightly.

" But.. I seem to be dying every dream." I murmered.

" oh is that it? maybe your seeing future?" Diz smirked. "Riku please come in." Riku opened the door silently. I wondered if he was listening at the door. " Riku, you and Star will be shareing the same room so please show her to it."

" what?" Riku said sharply.

" I put another bed in there, were short on rooms, and she needs to be protected by someone, so you'll need to stay with her. Take her everywhere you go.." Riku gave me a quick glance and nodded.

" Ok." he sighed and moushuned ( Srry for spelling --') For me to follow him. We walked through a door and there was pod like things along the wall there was a duck and dog in two of them, Riku stopped at a door. " Hold on, you can come with me if you like. I just need to visit Sora for a moment." I did follow him. There was a huge pod with a brunett boy sleeping in it. Riku put his hand on the pod. " When will you wake up Sora?" He murmered. He sighed and walked out, " sorry, now follow me." I did and there was an akward silence. There was so many questions I wanted to ask him. But, I bet he would think I'm crazy if I told him I've been dreaming about him but not learning his name untill now. I sighed and before I realized Riku had stopped at a door and opened it and walked in. I followed and shut the door behind me. Jut as Diz said there was two beds and they were on compleat opposite sides of the room.

"That one's mine." Riku pointed to hte one closest to the window. I sat down on my bed and obsurved the room. It was compleatly white, White walls and floors,but dark at the same time. The sheets on both beads where red. there was a small dresser with a stool and small mirror. It was too quiet so I pulled all my nerve together and asked him a question.

" Riku why do you wear a blindfold?" he looked at me for a moment and sighed

" well My eyes, Mostly to hide from my self. But when people see the amber they know that I was taken over by the darkness, did you notice Diz's eyes? that color. I'm ashamed" he looked at the floor. I wanted to cheer him up so I decided to sing

" Hey Riku? Would you like to hear me sing?"

" Sure" he shrugged.

" It's my fave song It's by The Used, it's called I caught fire (in your eyes)" I cleared my throught and took a deep breath and sang like I never did before,

"Seemed to stop my breath  
My head on your chest  
Waiting to cave in  
From the bottom of my...  
Hear your voice again  
Could we dim the sun  
And wonder where we've been  
Maybe you and me  
So kiss me like you did  
My heart stopped beating  
Such a softer sin

(I'm melting, I'm melting)  
In your eyes  
I lost my place  
Could stay a while

And I'm melting  
In your eyes  
Like my first time  
That I caught fire  
Just stay with me  
Lay with me  
Now

Never caught my breath  
Every second I'm without you I'm a mess  
Ever know each other  
Trust these words are stones  
why cuts aren't healing  
Learning how to love

I'm melting (I'm melting)  
In your eyes  
I lost my place  
Could stay a while  
And I'm melting  
In your eyes  
Like my first time  
That I caught fire  
Just stay with me  
Lay with me  
(Stay with me lay with me now)

You could stay and watch me fall  
And of course I'll ask for help  
Just stay with me now  
Take my hand  
We could take our heads off  
stay in bed just make love that's all  
Just stay with me now

I'm melting (I'm melting)  
In your eyes  
I lost my place  
Could stay a while  
and I'm melting

In your eyes  
Like my first time  
That I caught fire  
Just stay with me  
Lay with me  
In your eyes  
I lost my place  
Could stay a while  
and I'm melting  
In your eyes  
Like my first time  
That I caught fire  
Just stay with me lay with me  
(Stay with me, lay with me)

In your eyes  
Let's sleep till the sun burns out  
I'm melting in your eyes (I'm melting in your eyes)  
Let's sleep till the sun burns out  
I'm melting in your eyes"

When I finished Riku wispered.

" Beautiful" I smiled, something I haven't done in a long time.

" Thank you" I wispered.

" Now tell me, Why is that you faveorite song?" He smirked a little. Now I was really embarrased.

" Uhhhh-Ummm, Well your gunna think I'm crazy" He smiled a beutiful smile.

" I promise I won't laughf"

" Well... The reason why I love that song is becuse Of you... I don't know why but, Ever sence my mother died I've been having dreams and in them you've been in all of them. When I sleep It's the only excape I have becuse o my father is abuseive brcuse He is convinced that ot was my fault that she died. I'm sort of convinced now too." There was another long akward silence. " See I knew that you'd think of me as a freak every one dose." I sighed and traced the scar on my arm. Riku seemed to notice what I was doing and walked over to my side.

" What are you doing?" He asked. I covered my wrist with my hand.

" Nuh- Nothing" Riku was'nt convinced and pried my fingers off. He gasped a little and I looked away.

" Why? Thats all I'm asking." He wispered as he sat down next to me.

" My life sucks." I mumbled." I always thought that I was crazy dreaming of you, that no one like that exsisted, But wharn i saw you today and learned your name. I don't know what to think anymore."

" Things like that are possible, I don't know how I got into your dreams but, There are certin powers in the worlds. The unpredictible power of the heart,Light, Dark, Twilight, and some other unxplaned ones." Riku explained.

" Oh," Was all that I could say. " Diz said he awakend a power inside of me."

" What?"

" I don't know what it is, but I do feel weird." I shivered alittle." I'm tired" Riku got up and let me slip under the covers of the surpiseingly soft bed. I was more tired than I realized and I fell asleep quickly.

Dreaming...

* * *

_''Is Death what your really looking for?'' An omonus voice asked from the darkness._

_" I don't know anymore" I answered back. When I did A tall cloaked figure appeared in frount of me, He dropped something on the ground and I noticed it to be a person and it landed with a sickening 'thump'. The man chuckled a little._

_" This is whats going to happen if you don't cooaperate." I looked at the body, and to my horror Riku was lying there, barely breathing._

_" Riku!" I screamed and I fell to his side, he weakly looked at me and placed his bloody hand on my face and wispered so weakly I could barely hear him._

_" Star... I-I tried" And his arm fell, eyes lifeless, nomore sparkle. And I screamed._

Awake...

* * *

" NOOOOOO!" I bolted upright, a sleek layer of sweat covering my body. I was shakeing with fear at that dream. " No...Nooo!" I sobbed into my hands. Riku was suddenly at my side, shirtless and only wareing a pair of pants, but I was oblivios to it. Too scared at my dream.

" what is it?" He asked quietly

" Yu-you died this time." I choked.

" Wai- What?"

" In all the dreams I've had, I was the one that died, but this time you did. The man told me this is what happens if you dont cooaporate." I sobbed and choked even harder. He put a hand on my sholder.

" Calm down." I did and I fell back into a dreamless sleep.

ThE nExT dAy...

Riku woke me up with a light shake to my sholder.

" Hey, you ok?" He asked me. I rubbed my eyes and groaned

" Mmmhmm."

" Well come on Diz said I had to train you" I got up and followed him. When he opened the door he stopped and opened a portal, he stepepd in and I followed. We were in a weird place,It was a desert.

" Riku? Where are we?"

" we're in Agrahba. It's good to train in the desert becuse the heartless pop out of nowhere alot." Just as he said heartless black creatures appered out of the ground.

" ACK! How the hell am I supposed to fight these!" I jumped out of the way. Riku laugfed a bit and swiped away all of them.

" Well, you said that Diz awakened a power in you, well I think that a sword or weapon came garenteed, Warrinty included" He joked. " Just think about it and it might apear, if not then I'll buy you one."

" Ok, Like this?" He held out my arm and he nodded. I closed my eyes and thought about some kind of weapon comeing to my hand. I just stood there for like a minet and felt like an idiot.

" Well I guess I'll just have to bu- Whoa!" Becuse just then It finally happedned. I t was weird, a swarm of darkness was forming at my hand, when it took shape it looked like a corrupted angel wing that after it was all corrupted and all it lost nearly all of it's feathers and stuff.

" Whoa! What the hell!" I jumped back in shock. Riku chuckled. " Hey! stop laughfing pretty boy! This never happened to me before!" He smiled. I looked at the new weapon sceptically " how am I supposed to do this?" Riku sighed.

" Lets walk around untill heartless apper and I'll show you." We walked around and some heartless wanted to play.

" Ok, hold it like this, or this and swing like crazy." He showed me how to hold it with one hand or with two hands. I held it with one hand and felled a couple heartless and Riku the rest. " Hey, your pretty good, better than Sora the first time" He chuckled a bit and lost hid train in thought for a moment, I waved my hand in frount of his face

" Hello? Earth to pretty boy?" He shook his head and looked at me

" Uh.. Can you stop calling me that?" I just stuck out my tounge. This wasn't my normal behaveour, but with Riku if felt different. He smiled and opened a portal. He stepped and I followed. We were back in our room.

" Oh, right Diz gave me this to give this to you." He pointed to a simmular black coaut like his. I walked over and put it on, it fit perfictly. I twirled around for my own exsamanation. My stomac growled. I sweatdropped...

" uhhhhhhhhh" Riku started to laugf, he wiped away a tear.

" Hungry?"

" Yah..." And thats how it was for a month. Riku and I got into playfull fights and trained every day, Untill...

It was like any day Riku woke me up as useual.

" So.. Pretty boy, where are we going today?" He smirked.

" Come on." He opened a portal I stepped in. I stepped onto a hill with a beutiful sunset.

" Woah, Riku where are we? It's beautiful." He was behind me

" Twilight Town, The real one any way. But this is Sunset Hill. It reminds me of my home a little bit, around sunset. I used to watch that with everyone back home. He placed a hand on my sholder, I was a little shocked that he did.

" Riku? What are you.." I trailed off as I felt his warm breath tickle my neck.

" I've thought this over and over. But, I think you made me love you." He wrapped his arms around my waist. I was nervos, Nothing like this has ever happened to me.

" M-Me too" I studdered. He rested his chin at the crook of my neck. We just stood there for what seemed forever. He slowly turned me around and put his hands on the sides of my face. He leaned in hesitated and placed warm lips to mine. As instinct I wrapped my arms around his neck and reterned the kiss. When we broke I was out of breath, I leaned my head on his chest and breathed in his scent. I sighed in contentment. He held my hand.

" Come on we have to get back."

" Hold on." I tugged his arm to make him come closer. " I want to see your eyes." He stepped back and looked away.

" No"

" RIku It's only me, Please?" I reached for the blindfold. I slowly pulled it off of his pale face. His eyes were closed. He slowly opened his eyes. they were amber like he said. A sudden flash of him laying lifeless flashed to my eyes but so fast that I just ignored it.

" Can, I have the blindfold?" I cheezaly asked. He grinned.

" Shure." He pulled out another one and put it on. I stuffed the one he let me have into my pocket. When Riku Opened the portal and both of us stepped in Diz's Voice boomed through the room.

" Riku, only Riku I would like to see you at once" riku nodded at bothing. He kissed my forehead and I blushed.

" I'll be back I promise." He wispered. But he broke that promise. I waited all night, All week. And I was starting to doubt that he was ever real. When I pulled up the courage I went to go see Diz. When I found the door I lightly nocked.

" Come in Star." I Hesitated and walked in. Diz was sitting at his laarge computer. Another cloaked man was leaning aginst the wall, A posture that seemed fammiluar.

" Ummm Diz? Do you know.. Uhh"

" Where Riku is?" I nodded. He glanced at the other man quickly and answerd, " No, I don't. He dissapered about a week ago."

" Oh..." I sighed. " Can I go to Twilight Town?" I wispered.

" He chuckled a little, Yes But not the real one, The one I made of data." He opened a portal. " go on" I ran into the portal. I think I landed too hard becuse I woke up on a couch in a little room.

" Oh! Good youre up! Hey guys she's up!" A cheerfull voice sounded. I slowly got up.

" Hey! I'm Olette this is Roxas, Hayner and Pence!" The girl Waved her hand in the direction on three guys

" Ummm Hi I'm star..."

_TIME LAPSE!_

"Oh Olette I can't belive that I'm doing this" I whined

" Oh come on Every one loves your voice! Get out there!" Olette pushed me out on the stage, I slowly walked up onto the sandlot stage and to the microphone. i sang the song that dicribes me Stars by Switchfoot.. And I remembered him By accident.

_Maybe I've been the problem _

_Maybe I'm the one to blame _

_But even when I turn it off and blame myself _

_The outcome feels the same _

_I've been thinking maybe I've been partly cloudy _

_Maybe I'm the chance of rain _

_And maybe I'm overcast _

_And maybe all my luck's washed down the drain _

_I've been thinking 'bout everyone, _

_Everyone you looks so lonely _

_But when I look at the stars _

_When I look at the stars _

_When I look at the stars, I see someone else _

_When I look at the stars _

_The stars, I feel like myself _

_Stars looking at a planet _

_Watching entropy and pain _

_And maybe to start to wonder _

_How the chaos in our lives could pass as sane _

_I've been thinking 'bout the meaning of resistance _

_Of a hope beyond my own _

_And suddenly the infinite and penitent _

_Begin to look like home _

_I've been thinking about everyone _

_Everyone you looks so empty _

_But when I look at the stars _

_When I look at the stars _

_When I look at the stars, I see someone else _

_When I look at the stars _

_The stars, I feel like myself. _

_Yeah! _

_Everyone, Everyone feels so lonely _

_Everyone, yeah everyone feels so empty _

_When I look at the stars _

_When I look at the stars _

_When I look at the stars, I feel like myself _

_When I look at the stars _

_The stars, I see someone..._

* * *

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Gee that took a while... Meep! Read and Review!


	2. The light blinds

Srry It took so long to update...

"MakeDamnSure"

You've got this new head filled up with smoke  
I've got my veins all tangled close  
To the jukebox bars you frequent  
The safest place to hide  
A long night spent with your most obvious weakness  
You start shaking at the thought you are everything I want  
'Cause you are everything I'm not

And we lay, we lay together just not  
Too close, too close (How close is close enough?)  
We lay, we lay together just not  
Too close, too close

I just wanna break you down so badly  
Well I trip over everything you say  
I just wanna break you down so badly  
In the worst way

My inarticulate store bought hangover hobby kit  
It talks, it says, "You, oh, you are so cool."  
It says, "The shade across the bed, you are red, violent red."  
You hollow out my hungry eyes  
You hollow out my hungry eyes

And we lay, we lay together just not  
Too close, too close (How close is close enough?)  
We lay, we lay together just not  
Too close, too close

I just wanna break you down so badly  
Well I trip over everything you say  
Well I just wanna break you down so badly  
In the worst way

I just wanna break you down so badly  
Well I trip over everything you say  
I just wanna break you down so badly  
In the worst way (worst way)

I'm gonna make damn sure that you can't ever leave  
No, you won't ever get too far from me  
You won't ever get too far from me  
I'll make damn sure that you can't ever leave  
No, you won't ever get too far from me

You won't ever get too far from me  
You won't ever get too far from me  
You won't ever get too far...

I just wanna break you down so badly  
Well I trip over everything you say  
Well I just wanna break you down so badly  
In the worst way (worst way)

I'm gonna make damn sure  
I just wanna break you down so badly  
I just wanna break you down so badly (damn sure)  
In the worst way (worst way)

I stared at the crowd after I sung the song. They were cheering and cheering. But yet the did not know the real me. Why there was a burn scar on my leg. Why I had cuts all over my arms. Why I wore a black piece of cloth on my shoulder so that the ends moved when I walked or the wind blew. Suddenly something caught my eyes as I scanned the crowd. A hooded figure. Arms crossed in an all too familiar posture. I blinked my eyes and he was gone. _' Was I seeing things?'_ I thought to myself. I shook it of and faked smiled. An act I put on too much.

" Thank you everyone! Now for the struggle battle you all have been waiting for!" I waved and ran off the stage. I was attacked by a group hugging me all at once.

" You did AWWWWSSOME!" Olette cried. Pence patted me on the back and Hayner punched me playfully in the arm. Roxas just smiled.

" Uhhh... Thanks guys... Do you mind If I can be alone for a while?"

" Sure!" Olette answered for everyone. I did not smile and I walked into the Alley. I leaned against the cool wall and slid down slowly. I put my hand over my pocket and reached in. My hand clasped around a cool metallic object. I haven't done this in a while. I snapped the knife open and poised the tip of the blade at the corner of my wrist. I was about to move the blade but a gloved hand suddenly stopped me from doing so.

I quickly looked up startled. I saw a cloaked figure. " Who... Are you..."

" My name is of no importance.." The man simply replied in a monotone voice.

" What do you want with me?" I asked.

" An offer. And I need to tell you something that is quite important." His bass voice echoed through the alley. He cleared his throught. " Star, You died in that fire."

" Then how the hell am I here now?" I demanded.

The man chuckled in a fake sounding way. " You are what I am, a Nobody. Someone who dies becomes a heartless. But someone with a strong heart becomes a nobody. And you in fact my dear did have a strong heart." I gulped as he continued. " A Nobody can feel hate, rage and sorrow. And can only remember love, joy and all the rest. My offer is to join my Organization 13. That is what Axel's confrontation with you was about. Our goal is to open Kingdom Hearts so we can receive our hearts back. If you join, you can be Star again. And Love Riku?" I shivered at the name and thought. What did I have to lose? If I was really dead.

" Hey, Xylia!The Superior wants to see you!" Demyx said in a sing song voice as he poked his head into the library. A blond haired girl slowly looked up from a book emotionless. Her hair was tied up with a piece of black cloth and she wore the normal Organization attire.

Saïx looked up from the other end of the table. " Demyx stop your foolishness this instant." He said emotionless.

Demyx mock saluted " Yes Sir!" grinned and walked out the door. Xylia sighed and closed the book softly. Not to long ago she was called Star. She placed the book down on the table and walked out of the room leaving her silent " Reading buddy" She ventured through the castle to Xemnas's study.

Xylia opened the door and spoke softly. " Superior, you wanted to see me?"

srfhgdh

I stood in front of the Real Twilight town's Mansion with my hood up. I was leaning on a fallen pillar waiting for the keyblade Master to attempt to break Roxas apart from him. From what I learned Diz used a nobody girl named Namine to mess whith him, thus the Roxas I know. Plus he was apart of the Organization and Axel's best friend. Suddenly, a spikey haired brunnet boy with a duck and dog came noisealy out of the mansion. My jaw dropped. That was Sora, Riku's friend. He looked allot like Roxas, or Roxas looked like him

Sora noticed me and walked carelessly twords me. His clothes looekd a little too small for him. " Hey, do you know where we are?" I slowly nodded. " Then tell me please."

I cleared my throught and lightly tapped his head. " Roxas! Come on out! I don't wanna harm Sora!"

Sora jumped back " What the! Who's Roxas? And how did you know my name! And who are you anyways!"

I sighed " My name is St- I mean Xylia... You don't need to know who Roxas is and... Riku. That's how I know who you are."

Sora suddenly grabbed my shoulders and shook me slightly " Riku? Do you know where he is?"

I sighed and looked down. " No, I don't."

Sora let go. " Oh, Sorry." He scratched the back of his head. My eyes started to sting.

" I need to go... goodbye Sora." I conjured a portal and stepped into it quickly.

I stumbled onto my bed in my room and shook as if I was crying. My eyes hurt as it got blurry. Was I going blind? I screamed in agony as the light from the night stand hit my blue orbs. I covered them with a gloved hand and blindly reached to the switch and sighed in contentment as the darkness cooled them. If I could cry I would, you know I would. I blindly reached for the blindfold I used as a hair tie and actually used it as a blindfold. My corn silk blond hair cascaded down to my shoulders. I was sick of it! I ran to the bathroom and reached around for the scissors.

**Chop. **

**chop **

**chop. **

Locks of my hair fell to the ground. Riku had said he loved it, my ugly hair. When there was an uneven cut that just barely reached my ears I fumbled around for the black hair dye I had. I followed the directions sloppily and received black hair with chunks of blond. I slid down the wall and locks of hair flew everywhere. I picked up the scissors and pulled the black glove off and cut into my porcelain skin. Cut never like I have before and It felt good. We didn't have hearts but we did bleed, a benefit.

**Ding**

**ding **

**ding.**

Dinner time, Heck we had to eat right? I painfully pulled myself from the floor and brushed the hair off. And walked to the dining room. On my way I met Xigbar.

" hey, Whoa! Sweet what happened?" Xigbar gasped.

I turned his way and replied in a monotone voice. " I'm blind in the light. The light burns my eyes now."

A hand on my shoulder, Axel's hand. " Maybe you should stop cutting yourself too."

I shrugged the hand off " I don't need your fake empathy,Axel."

" Aw, baby! I love you!"

" No you don't, None of us can love." and I left and walked into the dining room.

**Riku**

**Riku**

**Riku**

Why do I keep dreaming of him? I can't love him because I have no heart. I need to stop sleeping if I keep this up, really I do. I sat up as I heard the door click open. " Go away" I mumbled.

" aww, and I thought you cared." Axel. Why is he so screwed up?

" Go away."

" nope."

" I said go away."

" Like i said before-" I was cut off by a small flame flouting in front of my face. Shit, he sure dose know my weakness.

" Why did you do that to you hair?" I leaned over me, causing me to lie down. His hand caressed my cheek. " I liked it." His red lips brushed against my own silky pale ones.

" Get the fuck away from me Axel." i tried to push him off but he was too strong. He continued with his fake lust. He couldn't really feel the way he said he was. A bony hand trailed down my body. No reaction. I felt nothing at all. He forcefully kissed me. His disgusting tounge in my mouth. My lips felt swollen. When he broke I gasped and screamed as loud as I could. I wanted this creep away right now.

The door opened and Saïx's monotone voice loomed through the dark room. " Axel, stop your cocky foolishness and leave. You are disgusting." Thankfully, he left. I was never going back to sleep.


End file.
